To JV Sir and to anyone else concerned :)

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As a reply to post on  Integral Development Lab (IDL)-3 blogged by JV Avadhanulu Sir
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Hi Sir,

The Himalayan Outbound Program is one of those things which I will cherish for many years to come. It is a true test for the health, we, the aspiring future managers of this country possess. All of my batch mates must have got the unofficial grade sheets of their health and will definitely work to look and feel healthier than their present situation.

I will remember HOP not only for the Golden moments I lived during 3^rd of November to 11^th of November but also because of you again and again praising my persistent during the task which we have done there.

Sir, there were two times when you asked me to say something in front of my fellow batch-mates. I believe being 22, I am younger than most of them. Apart from this I believe most of them are far intelligent than me to set their priorities for their life; and to alter those priorities is really a Herculean task if I want to do. I know most of us want to earn a lot of money, even if we need to sacrifice any wellness of soul, mind or body for that. This attitude is really difficult to modify, especially in the young age of ours. So I find it really cumbersome (read it ‘shy’ otherwise) exercise to advice anything to anybody else. Everybody learns in life in their own way. But I can share only how my life was in past 22 years, which can be taken as inspiring story or a narcissistic story, depending upon the attitude of reader.  

Before telling the problem I am facing, I want to make clear that no doctor whom my family met was able to detect accurately the name of illness I am having. I just get a hazy picture from all those discussions that my nervous system is weak plus there is some bone distortion in my body nearby hips. After my birth, I had been trapped in illness after getting fits/epilepsy attack at the age of one and half year. During first such attack in 1991-92, I cut some part of my tongue also.  When my case was on the verge of healing, doctor injected some wrong medicine which resulted in damage of my nervous system. I had a series of fits/epilepsy attacks after that till the age of five. I can still remember a little-bit of such last attack in 1995 when I was awake and fall from bed; cannot remember what happened after that.Leave the walking, I was unable to sit on my own when I was six.I always needed support to sit.Certainly, even my relatives can not imagine those days when they see me now. I was in my village, till 2004 and information about what the best can be done for me was not available to my family. Yet, I can surely say that my parents have done the best possible they could do for me. Nobody in family had any wild idea about my future till I was in village and passed 10^th standard. After that to pursue further studies, I with my family moved to the city. I believe that was one of the critical turning points in my life as I came in direct exposure of many many new things. Since then I am aspiring to make something big out of my life which can make me feel proud on myself.

There was a time when I was really hopeless about improvement in my well-being. But, during my graduation days, there were my friends who inspired me to join gym. It was just for teenage fun that time. Recently, I choose gym as a passion. I go to gym at least 3 days a week. I believe going to gym helped me a lot in terms of building my muscles and infused some power in them. My current goal is to build stamina for running 1km comfortably, and I believe it cannot come from going to gym but by doing other types of exercise like Yoga(This Yoga thought was there in mind somewhere, but after attending your sessions, this belief became strong). My fight to make my nervous system stronger is still on; and I believe I am going to sustain against this lifelong challenge. I have always been a hard-worker and I believe this is the key for my all accomplishments till time.

Love and live to die another Day. :)

P.S.: Even after 700+ words I find this post incomplete as I did not thank my group-mates and Aurbindo Ashram Staff who helped me a lot during all tracking. Also a lot of things like beautiful sun-set scenes of Aurobindo Ashram, Paragliding event in Naukuchiatal(25Kms away from Nainital) which was indeed a divine experience I had and home-food of Aurbindo Ashram would need thousands of words to explain.

Vo Nadaan Parinda

Us nadan ne aaj akhiri baar mujhko rula diya,
na vapis khincha na khud vapis aney ka vada kiya.
Socha tha beinteha jindagi dega saath vo mera,
par meri nadangi ko, us nadan ne daga diya.

Mere sang thodi der hi sahi, par uda toh tha vo,
mere chaney ko bhi kuch der toh ruka tha vo.
Par manjilein dono ki, doorayan ban ke aa gai
na samjha dono ne kab alag dayron mein vo simta gai.

Tha hava mein khelta, rahrawaa-e tamannaa tha vo,
Main na pehchaan paya ke dhun mein apni diwana tha vo
uski manshaon ne mere dil ko aaj bujha-bujha kiya,
us nadaan ne aaj akhiri baar mujhko rula diya.

25TH POST :) :) :)

This is my 25th post on this blog (I also used to engrave on my ex.-blog a long time ago and now a day when ever I find nothing to write I copy paste a post from that one to this one :P .Btw ek baar hi kiya hai ye copy paste!)
The best thing about this 25th post is that it is totally time pass post so if you have some other important work then please follow my suggestion and for god's sake, don't waste your time on bloggers :D !!And one thing if you dont know HINGLISH LANGO.Plz don’t read this post. You are not going to understand what you'l to read!!

By the way, "congrats!", koi to keh do yaar mujhe!

This post is not dedicated to any one! This is my blog, main kissi or ko kyuun 25th post dedicate karuun!!Still a small dedication to Ekam who tagged me again (yehi hai bass who tagged me not one but two times iskey alawa mere jaisi irregular species ko kon puuchta hai...hehehe)

So the tag is "Vella - panti .. 'About me' or tag??"

Eku mam wrote 18 points about her personality and now I am going to write 20 points(some points I have just copy pasted or modified from eku ….:P )

1. I just love my name. Even my favourite song is"you know my name" by chris cornell uncle composed for "casino royale" (is par bhi long discussion hogi kabhi). I think its the most sexiest name after james bond in the whole world. And it is. I know it :D

2. I am very jealous. I get very jealous when I see my friend specially best friend talking with his/her another friend/friends even without telling me anything(here definition of anything means that where he/she going? or whom he/she going to meet!?).At that time only reaction remain bitch/kutta kamina!!

3. I am very insecure.If you like me then I would not believe you unless I hear the word "I like you" 100 times.And I cant change this feeling... sorry!!

4. I can make friends very easily now-a-days but to be closer friends you have to avoid situation as discussed in point two! Mere saath chipkey raho and agar mujhe acha laga and apko bhi then who knows hum bhi close ho jayein. Ye close achey wala hai,otherwise India mein log close k kafi ACHEY meanings nikaal letey hain..;).

5. I got many persons in life whom I can proudly say,” you are my best friends.Jo bhi hai bass tu h mere liye.” (I would like to discuss separately in next point about best friends and close friends) and I know they are the best things ever happened to me. Friends I got through my blood relations, friends I got through academia and friends I got through web!

6. AB YEPOINT THODA SERIOUS WALA HAI. As a matter of fact I got 6-7 people who always remain clouded on my thinking. So whenever I meet anyone of them I say ,”you are my best friend”. This is because every one of them is so closer to my heart that if I am with anyone of them he/she come more nearer meeting my heart!
One of my close friends does not believe in best friends. If I see practically then she seems to be right. Everybody has only one friend and that is the almighty itself. And as I do not believe in any religion specifically that almighty is you yourself. No one is your best friend except you as Chris cornel uncle in song you know my name says,” ARM YOURSELF COZ NO BODY IS HERE TO SAVE YOU,ODDS WILL BETRAY YOU”. But I strongly believe in soul mates and they do exist! Every one born as half and there is someone who is other counterpart of you and you have to search him/her. Once you get him/her you will feel complete. I am still in the search of that soul mate!

7. I am a case of shot tirm memory! I usually dont/hate to remember contact number etc. as I think it useless.Mobile hai na!! Then whats the need to remember your contact!! huh???Also if i get some fight with you tomorrow I may meet you next day as if there was nothing happened last day iff(imphasize on double "f") you are my close one!

8. If you are innocent then I will be so with you. And if I find you a kamina person then either I will try to keep myself away from you nai to MUJHE KHUD KO BHI NAI PATA KITNA KAMINA HUUN MAIN!! Another thing is that if I find you innocent and then I find you kamina that means pakka without any complain I will go away from you world.

9. I love gifts. It’s a kind of show off but fir bhi I love gifts! I love to see smile on other’s face on getting pleasant surprise like it!

10. I am old fashioned in many ways but the other side of coin shows me a hyper trendy hot fashioned person. For example if my parents tell me that I must not drink alcohol coz it’s addictive, I will show them no! Alcohol is not addictive. I drank it 2 times and I am not in any addiction (okk! I did commitment to someone not to drink it again and EK BAAR MAINEY COMMITMENT KAR LIYA FIR TO MAIN APNI BHI NAI SOCHTA!!...:P )

11. If I am smiling on you then it never show my real approach towards you! MUJHE KHUDKO BHI NAI PATA KITNA KAMINA HUUN MAIN!(last movie I watched is wanted of salman khan uncle)

12. I am very lazy and very means very very very! Never come to my house without ringing my cellphone(ghar k bahar ghanti khjaraab hai!).Nai to mujhe bhi ni pata what you are going to think about my INTERNATIONAL look. Its 10:15 pm in my laptop and main bina nahaye jockey mein baitha huun subah sey!!Even last day when I was at gym to itni laziness thi that I came back after 20 minutes!Dont ask me whther I studied anything important today or not!

13. You may find me funny in some situation. But if I noticed that you find me funny toh teri to khair nai beta! Itna pakogey k shayad ek baar to you would think to suiside ...hehehe!!

14. I am a very fattu person in college. Without any proxy,I manage to get about 75-80% attendence. Jiss din meri attendence short ho gai to samajh lo no one is going to sit in the exams...:P. Another aspect of the coin is once I go to safe side(75%) and i notice it in lecturers registers then no way k class mein darshan de jauun!!

15. I dont talk too much if you are a starnger and I have no business with you!I can talk my business plus some flirty dialogues if I find you usefull!And I will just talk, talk and talk if you are close to me.

16.I was not that expressive in my life.But suddenly change came and now-a-day some people call me,"tu kuch bhi bol deta hai without thinking whether its going to hurt the another person or not!".

17. My taste of food always change!But one thing for sure,ghar ka khana is irreplasable!

18. I can cook anything(but baad mein you have to clean all utensils...i'l not do that) except roti!

19. I am addicted to these words: cool,hott,dosht,dusht,item,shonumonu,bhindi,kuttey,btw,yippiee.

20. I am addicted to blogging. Not that big addiction but I love to blog! It all started one year back when one of my orkut friend pulkit started blogging. I have not that big aspiration like him to be a writer but I just love writing and poems sometimes!!

21. This extra point is resrved for my latessht picture at chandigarh rock garden.I love photography and photographs.kya main james bond lag raha huun??

P.S.:Thanks for reading this 25th post.I know main kabada kar chuka huun apni be-ijjati ka and also of your precious time.Pehley btaya tha na k mat padhna!!
I hope key next time is blog pe aney se pehley you will think 100 times...:P

A lill bit love without wax!!

The encrypted file has no decryption

that how am I so affectionate to you
challenging to the Bergofsky principle
what my love without wax all through

Courtesy:Plz read "The Digital Fortress".Wrote a long time before, after reading this great piece of art by Dan Brown!Hope to meet my Susan Fletcher soon!!..:P

DISTINCTLY YOURS
WITHOUT WAX!

LAST DROP OF MY TEARS

It is my Last drop of tears
Disappearing to fall so lonely
Both hands are wet and full
Looking any third to pick it

It is my Last drop of tears
Going away to halt my eyes
Sand will be only after that
Storming through my sighs!

It is my Last drop of tears
Crawling on my poor lids
Looking for you to catch
Going more and more down

It is my Last drop of tears
Is now dropping from eyes
Cheerless in absence of you
It is going to meet the soil

It is my Last drop of tears
Finally getting its destiny
Absorbed by ground finally

Where I have written your name

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BHINDI

Vo ai thi tun ya chand gira hoga jameen par,
ik pyara sa dil liye ik pyari si murat!
hazaar rituon key baad bhi tun hai vohi,
shayad khuda ne fursat mein kiya hoga takalluf tera......

That was you who born or moon had fallen on earth,
One lovely heart being occupied within a lovely face.
Even after so many seasons, you are the same.
Maybe it took a lot of time of god to create you...


ban gai hain ons ki bundein moti,
jab chua hai tere kadmon ne inhein.
or fir subah ka lal suraj sharma gaya hoga,
dekh key chamak chehrey ki tere.........

The dewdrops are converted into pearls
When your feet has touched them.
And then the red sun of early morning got ashamed
subsequent to watch visage of yours.....


khushbuun se teri behka hai gulistan sara
or jal key khak ho gai kaliyan sari.
or kissi shayar ney fir kaha hoga:
key ye nuur na hoga or kissi mein.......

The whole garden gets mad with your aroma
and all other flowers has blister with jealousy
And then a poet thought yet again:
None can get this exquisiteness for a second time


teri julfon mein pal rahey hain sapney mere sarey
darr lagta hai kahin ud na jayein jindagi ki dhuup mein.
na dekha karo kissi or ko in ankhon se abb,
key bas gaya hai abb to mera jahan ankhon mein teri.....

In your hairs, my all imaginings are taking shape
And I am in the fear whether that got dull in the sun of life
How can you see anybody else with your eyes now!
when I had created my whole world within them
DISTINCTLY YOURS
PARAMVEER SAINI
(8th august,2009 )

P.S.:A little dedication to my friend and class-fellow-Aditi Goel. I have prepared this another feminine and somewhat love poem not exclusively only for her but also for Bhindi of my story series as Adi is the co-author upto some extent of that story.We both usually talk a lot about mindset of girls. I prepared this poem at a very fast track.Thought about first line at 10PM;made 1st paragraph at 11:30PM and promised the b'day girl to write whole till the morning and here it was at 1:25AM.I know its not upto that level of poetry but still you have to appreciate me for such fast thinking..:).elsewise i create 1-2 poems per week....:( .

P.P.S.: and don't forget to pour your wishes for my co-author or more exactly critic!!

P.P.P.S: and my friend is sharing her birthdate with Roger Federer!

testimonial to a sister

This poem is for a very special part of my life. My best friend, a great mentor, a heart that always speak with innocence, a mind which is much intelligent to beat anything if get chance, a cute sentimental expression and eyes you can't forget and one of best critics I got in lifetime.

Geetika its for yew dear,my testimonial for you.

Today, tomorrow and forever
I will be there to shade you in sun
Making you smile more and more
More than before, more than ever
Never trying come closer your heart
But trying to be present within it
Gaining room further and further
More than now, more than ever
2008,09,10,11……years will pass
Don't know when will be goodbye
But you will always be with me
If not as sister,than as daughter
Shiny sinless Chinese eyed face
I will never going to forget
Neither at 19, nor in the future

WITHOUT WAX
PARAMVEER

P.S.:Writing this all in a night full of agony. Missing my family and my sister(Manu) as its Raksha Bandhan today and first time I am away from family for such a long period of more than one month.Feeling like a shattered person who had not gone to meet family just because according to his foolish theory " YOU CAN BE MORE EMOTIONALLY STRONGER JUST BY GOING AWAY FROM YOUR LOVING ONES"..I am really in confusion whether its right or wrong but that's the way it is!!... :(